Caveman Cake – Paleo Style

My golden years of baking have taken quite the sinister turn of late. Wild ‘feeder’ accusations have risen like an evil phoenix from the ashes of what were once gracious thanks and birthday brownie requests. It’s like suddenly the touting of tart was a crime and I was the Paoblo Escobar of confectionery. Nevertheless, I’d be damned if my beloved hobby would suffer.


Whilst it’s true that I do enjoy reveling in the praise an affectionately baked good can afford me, these claims lead me to a mind blowing realization – I could enjoy all of this revelry AND more by grinding up various nuts with coconut oil and christening it with some insipid pun. Hashtag anything #paleo or #glutenfree on Instagram and you’ll get the picture. In addition to catering to my own self-indulgence, I’d be lying if I claimed that I didn’t care about what I ate. Since my stint on the high fat/low carb way of life, I’ve been much more conscious about the way any sort of grain makes me feel and as a result, I like to avoid them if possible.


Introducing my Caveman Cake. It’s paleo (free from grains, gluten, dairy and refined sugar), easy to make, high fat/low carb and doesn’t taste like shit. Far from it, actually, and the texture is so close to the real deal, even I as its maker, found it rather eerie. This recipe yields a more cake-like consistency, but omitting the banana and most of the maple syrup will turn it into a lighter, more savory bread – great toasted with eggs or almond butter. I chose to go with a pumpkin theme because I felt like it, but feel free to leave it out and use half an extra banana instead.



Now let’s just clear something up real quick.  This cake may be chock full of healthy delights and all, but it’s still very much a treat and should be approached with caution. It’s high in nutritional value, but also calories and should therefore be enjoyed responsibly.


So with the feeder hyperbole firmly dispensed, let’s talk about how. I used cup measurements because I felt its rustic edge didn’t require strict precision. I also couldn’t figure out how to change the scale battery. A screwdriver? Seriously?


The What:

½ cup pecans

½ cup walnuts

¼ cup sliced almonds

1 cup pumpkin seeds

1½ cup ground almonds

¼ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon baking soda

¼ cup fresh coconut chunks shredded (optional but put them in a food processor to shred them coarsely before you start).

3 eggs

⅓ cup egg whites

⅓ cup melted coconut oil

1 cup good quality honey

¼ cup pumpkin puree

1 small banana

The How:

  • Preheat oven to 170 degrees Celsius (340 Fahrenheit)
  • Line a loaf pan with parchment paper.
  • In a food processor, pulse the coconut chunks until shredded, remove and set aside.
  • Next pulse half the pumpkin seeds in the processor until they reach a meal-like consistency. Add the pecan, ground almonds, walnuts, half of the flaked almonds, bicarbonate of soda and salt to the mix and pulse again until coarsely combined. Transfer into a large mixing bowl.
  • Next combine the eggs, pumpkin puree, banana and melted coconut oil in the food processor until smooth. Fold into the dry ingredients.
  • Crush up some extra pecans and walnuts and add in with the remaining pumpkin seeds and flaked almonds for some texture.
  • Whisk the egg white in a clean bowl until frothy and gently fold into the mixture.
  • Pour into the loaf tin and sprinkle with a few extra nuts and seeds then bake for 45-50 minutes.
  • Heat ¼ cup of maple syrup with a little water in a saucepan until it bubbles and turns slightly syrupy and then pour over the warm cake and allow to cool.
  • Keep it in an airtight container – it gets better with age.

So next time you’re overcome by the baking bug, put that Magimix to good use and start blitzing together some whole foods. Whilst I find the whole ‘Hey, I’m paleo, but also really hot – have a beautiful Monday everyone’  pretty grating, this cake is good enough to just be cake. Let the good times, without the consequent bad times, guilt and feeder comments, roll.


Find additional low carb recipes here



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